Christmas is once again upon us...me. Usually my favorite time of year. Yet this year I find myself in a place I don't want to be. I'm not talking about a location. I'm not in the mood for Christmas. I can't wait for it to pass.
For the past several years I've spent Christmas up in Minnesota at my sister's. It's always cold and most times there's snow. I love snow at Christmas. But this year since I've taken on a new job and I knew I'd have to work. It's not a big deal, I do love my job. But it's still not the same and I can't help feeling a little down. I'm not at all where I thought I'd be this time of year. I can certainly see why some can feel so depressed during the holidays. At least I have family, just not here. I have great friends and I know I'm lucky for that.
I'll admit that I'm envious of those who are in relationships at this time. Most of my friends are and it's hard to be around all the couples as I continue to remain a single. I know that so many relationships are not good. I realize that they take work. But it's this time of year that I am most aware of how single I am. I'll be honest, it hurts. And what really is so bothersome is I did this to myself. My grandmother always said, "love is blind, but the neighbors aren't". She was a wise old bird. I put myself in a situation against the advice of so many only to end up exactly where I am now...blogging about my loneliness. It's pathetic, I realize that. It is what it is. All I can do is wait it out until New Year's Eve passes and go forward hoping that I'll make better decisions in the new year than I have in the past. Besides, I have so many other things to be thankful for and proud of. Good judgement when it comes to men is not one of them...I'm hoping in the new year that will change.
Until then...Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
