A prayer

Well, once again I find myself facing, or should I say in the midst of the "HOLIDAYS". This was once such a festive time for me. I used to look so forward to Christmas and then New Year's Eve. Now...more like dreading. Just get me through this time without incident. If I close my eyes and when I open them can we be through with all of this? Can I be in January 2007 somewhere?

Skip all the ads on TV of all the wonderful presents that husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends are planning on getting each other. Skip the LifeTime original holiday movies of someone being lonely this time of year and within a 2 hour time span they have solved the problems of their life and have found the love they have longed for or asking Santa to bring them their love. And God help me if I have to listen to one more "HE GOT IT AT JARED'S" commercial I may implode!

Bring me the Festivus pole that George's dad so enthusiastically celebrated! I'll take Scrooge's "bah humbug" attitude any day this year over the happy couples walking arm in arm through the mall. And speaking of the MALL...I'll take online shopping over the crowded malls just to avoid the crazy "gotta have it at any cost" shopper who may deck me if I get in his/her way!

Once Christmas is over and I fly home from visiting my family in the cold Midwest...then it's the dreaded New Year's Eve. I think I have to work New Year's Eve this year. At least that will be my excuse for not having a date or doing anything. Last year I didn't have any set plans. I was called on Christmas Eve by a dood I'd dated and he mentioned getting together for New Year's Eve. I thought what the hell...at least a chance to ring in the new year appropriately with some good sex and champagne. Well, it didn't happen and I ended up with my wonderful gay bf 'W' at a house party where the only men there were all gay with the exception of a few who were with their girlfriends just stopping in to say 'hi'. It was a gorgeous house and the party was set up really beautifully. I got there a little after 11pm and rang in the new year with some cheap bubbly, kissed 3 gay men and drove home. I was in my jammies by 1am on New Year's Day. How fun is that? I do recall stopping by my friend, 'J' apartment before headed out to the party. We hugged each other and wished each other a Happy New Year and I remember saying to her..."Don't worry, 'J', next year will be better"....HA!!!!!! I mentioned that to her the other day and we both laughed. Yeah...not so much. I got nothing. And that's really it.

Just please get me through this with as few tears shed as possible. Just get me through it all. Even if it's in a daze...just get me through it. Thanks, God. I'm counting on you!