OK, so I'm going to vent. Not much different than any other time, I guess. And as I vent, I would imagine that some may feel that I shouldn't be complaining, but trust me, I have every right to complain.

My last blog was about dating and relating and this is no different. I'm becoming more and more discouraged about the whole dating/men/relationship thing. So far in the past year or so, I've had my run in with a few "unique" individuals. Now, I had gone through a very long dry spell where I was really becoming quite content with my life as a singleton. I had a job that sort of supported me, I had some great friends and a wonderful dog. That was my life and that was ok.

I was sort of in a funk as my best friend had decided to explore this great land and take a traveling position so she left. And, although I supported her decision to work around the country as this was something she had always wanted to do, I have to admit I was nervous about her leaving me here alone. We didn't even hang out that much, but she's still my best friend and....I digress. A few short months after her departure, I had to put my beloved dog to sleep after a long illness. That was devastating. But life continued and I aquired a new pup. Things were picking up. Then my interest went into stand-up comedy and things started to turn around. I found my self esteem picking up and, thus, men started to come out of the wood work.

Like I said, I was coming out of a 2 1/2 year dry spell...no men, nada, nothing. So I wasn't prepared when a good looking, seemingly normal gent started to pay attention to me. He was fun, for a while, but ultimately, he has a huge chip on his shoulder when it comes to the opposite sex. Plus, I guess in looking back on the whole "psuedo" relationship it was the first time in over 2 years that someone payed any attention to me so I thought he was just awesome....but time told his true story and he was just adequate.

During my non-committed "psuedo" relationship with the first guy, I met man #2. Very much a gentleman. Kind of "edgy" as he rode motorcycles, but that one turned into a friendship...and that's not so bad. He's a great friend and we enjoy each others company....but let's face it, when you're single and looking, the last thing you want is a friendship with a single, attractive, heterosexual male. Again, I digress.

Then, I met the doctor. Not much attraction at first but charming. Later I found out that he was engaged to a girl from his "mother land" and had quite the reputation at the hospital. Hey I bounced back from that one too and kept my chin up and hopes high.

Next I'd try internet dating...or should I say internet meeting and we'll go out on a date only to have them cancel 3 times and never hear from them again. But I'm not bitter....I figure he must have lost my e-mail address. Yeah, right. A few more prospects came about and I actually met one out for drinks, but there was absolutely no attraction and I thought he felt the same way until he very awkwardly attempted a kiss in the parking lot of the drinking establishment. I so smoothly turned my head and all he received was a hug. Oh well, no love, or more time lost on that one.

But wait, there's more.....Then came along a few more potentials from cyber dating that never panned out into anything more than some talk about meeting up then it fizzling into never meeting at all. I did eventually go out on a "date" with a guy from the "net" only to have him insult me directly to my face and then laugh it off saying that I had a great sense of humor. Well, I would have to have a great sense of humor since I was sitting there with sasquatch himself. (No wonder they have never found BigFoot in the NorthWest....he's been hiding out here in Florida all this time!)

So that's where I am at this moment. I spend most of my free time with my gay boyfriend as I enjoy his company more than the company of any straight man I've met thus far. I'm still hopeful that I'll meet a great guy. But until then...somebody's got some s'plainin to do!

I think I actually forgot I had this site! HOw terrible am I? Must be all those years eating food cooked out of aluminum pots.


My last entry was about my move. Well, I'm moved and pretty much settled. My apartment is adorable and...the best part...I have a washer and dryer!!! I've been washing things just for the sake of washing. My poor dog, though, she has quite a time gettting around on the hard wood floors. She's like a pig on ice. It's great entertainment on a Saturday night when, say, you get stood up for a date, you end up watching the dog spaz out and run all over slamming into everything since she can't stop due to the slippery floors. So I joined her and put on my slippers and ran around sliding all over the floors too.

Speaking of being stood up....why do guys do that? Why would a guy call you frequently, ask you out for the upcoming weekend, make it sound as though you're going to really have a great time...then not call? Why is that? Do men just get scared? Last minute regrets? Something better came up and I don't have the balls to call her and tell her thanks but no thanks? I realize that men and women are different...are we EVER different! But come on....you play these games then wonder why women seem to have it out for the opposite sex. Another one of my favorites, when men actually reveal how they feel about someone then they act like an ass and pull back. They must have thought about all the nice things they had said and decided in order to counter act the nicey shit, they have to BE a shit.

I was with some friends last night and some have kids who are teenagers. We were discussing one's daughter and her date that night. Her daughter was thrilled because the guy paid her way on the date. SO we were talking about that and one of the gentlemen sitting at our table asked why that was so shocking that a guy would pay for the girl on a date. I even mentioned that I would have no problem paying for my way on a date, especially if I was the one asking the guy out. He was SHOCKED. Silly man...how times have changed. I've certainly had my share of guys who just couldn't grasp the concept of being a gentleman. And that does not, in any way, imply that being a gentleman means they have to fork over the cash. But has chivalry died? Since women are in the workforce and are obtaining higher educations and able to take care of themselves, does that mean we no longer wish for that knight in shining armor? Is there a balance between being independent and still wanting some chivalry from a man? Is it possible to be independent yet still want to feel like a "girl" when with a man? These questions I have pondered and have yet to come up with an answer. I just think it's all so confusing...for both sexes. I certainly like that I am independent. I know that I will have a partner only if I want to be with that person, not because I have to. That's very empowering. But sometimes, sometimes I just want to be with someone who I know can take charge if I couldn't. Am I asking too much from a man? Are we as independent women asking too much? Do men just not "get it" any more? Could I ask any more questions?