The waiting game. I'm not very good at waiting. Not a patient person by any means. Waiting seems to be happening a lot in my family. My sister is "waiting" to get her little boy through adoption. I am "waiting" to get my nephew. My parents are "waiting" to be grandparents. My dad is "waiting" for my mom to retire.

We don't live in a patient society. Drive thru eating, banking, even marriage! Express lanes at the grocery store. Fifteen minute lunch specials so we can get back to work and work longer days and spend less time with family. Road rage, air rage....rage over war or peace! It's pathetic! What are we doing to ourselves? Our society? Is this improvement? Are we getting better or worse?

We are not taught to be patient. We are a society of right here right now, instant gratification. Christ, if you don't want to wait to have sex with your girlfriend/spouse you can drive to a certain area pick up a prostitute and have at it for 10 bucks!!! (I know this because I know of people who actually DO this!) We may have heard that good things come to those who wait...but we don't wait long enough to see.

Needless to say, I have no choice. Sometimes that's just the way it is. We have no choice. So I wait to be an aunt. I wait for the next phone call. Wait to see who is going to run against Bush in the upcoming election and pray that Bush gets out of office so we can start planning on getting these troops home. For not being patient, I certainly have my patience cut out for me.

And I do want to add to all this waiting shit...I'm not putting my life on hold "waiting". I'm continuing to live my life. It would be out of character for me not to do so. However, I may not have patience, but I do know a good thing when I see it and this is definitely worth waiting for. But I HATE WAITING!

Ah, Valentine's day. Right around the corner. The day of the year that cupid shoots his arrow into the ass of those in love. Yeah...right.

Commercials galore. All touting the perfect gift for your beloved. Why is it that if you're not with someone then you should feel inadequate? Or, if you are with that "special person" this day should be any different than any other day? Why can't we expect to be treated wonderfully all year round? I mean, let's face it...even in love...that special someone can get annoying. But it doesn't mean that I don't want to be in love and with someone or that I'm not in love just not with that someone right now.

And to make things worse, Valentine's Day also falls on a Saturday. Great. Not only do I not have a "valentine" but I don't have that "valentine" on a Saturday night!!!

But ya know...it's ok. Saturday night or no Saturday night, Valentine's day or not...it's ok.
I don't need someone giving me some freakish Hallmark kissing bear, some heart shaped box of carbs (although I do love chocolate...it's the seratonin thing I'm sure) or a bunch of half opened mini-roses from a grocery store cooler.
I'm not interested in a sappy card expressing any sort of romance from the one I love. The one I love knows what I want. And, although much time will pass until I get what I want and this Valentine's Day is just another day to me. I am happy for all those who have someone special in their lives. And for those who don't have that one special person, look around and you may find that your Valentine may be in your group of friends or family, or your wonderful pet.

It's just another commercialized holiday. We should remember to love those around us every day. Even on those days where our wonderful mate annoys the shit out of us. Where we just need some down time, alone time....time to regroup and realize that there is something to be thankful for. Even if they are annoying, be thankful.

Oh yeah...Happy Valentine's Day. (barf)