random crap

• Depression sucks.

• Speaking up for myself and telling a guy who I've been casually seeing (just haven't seen lately) to shut the fuck up before I hang up on his ass...really feels good. I have been busy, stressed, preoccupied and basically not available to many people, including close friends, as I've dealt with various issues that have been rather difficult to deal with. And this guy...my psuedo non-boyfriend...my "casual friend" decided he had time for me this past weekend. Well...I didn't have time for him. When I finally did return his calls he starts to yell at me on the phone! When I try to explain that I've been stressed and busy he decides that isn't a good enough excuse. Not that I owe him ANYTHING! So my response to him was; How long do you think I'm going to listen to this shit before I hang up on your fucking ass? Blunt but it worked. I like when I get ballsy and do that shit. Doesn't happen often...but when it does...it feels damn good.

• A coupon at a favorite clothing store. The more money you spend the more you save. Only women get that concept. So I was shopping and found a really cute bathing suit. I loved the colors and asked the sales gal if one of the colors made me look washed out. She said I should try the suit on so she could get a better look at the colors. WHAT! Are you kidding me? I'm not a trying on kinda gal. I go into the store and buy what I like...get it home and if it doesn't fit...either take it back or lose the weight and then it fits or it's out of style. What's wrong with that? But a bathing suit? PUHLEEZE!!! It took me a few seconds to compose myself. I then, very calmly, explained to her that I couldn't and wouldn't try on a bathing suit there for everyone to see...I needed to be in the comfort of my own home. That way if the suit looks like shit on me...I have Ben and Jerry close by to comfort my sorry ass. Isn't that how most women do it?

• Ignoring someone even though it's hard.

• Coming home to my dog. She loves me no matter what.

• Even with the dog...it's still lonely. But I'm eternally thankful for my lovely dog.

• Birthdays. Bittersweet. Inevitable. {sigh}

• Good friends...best friends...lifetime friends...friends since kindergarden.

• Despression sucks.