V D

VD...Not exactly what I mean....VD. I'm not referring to "venereal disease" although it might as well be. No, no...I'm talking about Valentine's Day. Once again I find myself on the brink of another VD. All the fricken commercials about that "special someone" make me want to barf. The advertising just so you can feel inadequate if you don't have that "special someone" in your life. It's all bullshit! I'm sick of feeling like I'm not complete because I'm alone. I am complete. I'm perfect! I'm not stuck in some meaningless relationship where I don't talk to someone or they cheat on me or lie to me or we can't stand to be around each other. All so that one day a year I can receive some cheap plastic shit or over-priced flowers so that I can feel special. It's all wrong! It's very similar to the government trying to get us to believe the whole "weapons of mass destruction" or the social security scam bullshit! It's wrong! Where's my day? Where's my day of celebrating being single? Celebrating being single and in my mid thirties and OK with it??? Celebrating the fact that I am OK on my own! It's OK to be independent and it's OK to be single and not willing to settle for just anyone.

I've been in the relationship where I felt more alone when I was with him than when I was truly by myself. I'm not willing to settle for that every again. I'm not willing to settle, period! I'm not going to be with someone just because my mother wonders why I'm not married yet. I'm not going to be with someone just because every one around me seems to be with someone. I'm not willing to compromise myself anymore just because society puts such a label on being just "one".

I've been burned one too many times. So I need to be careful. It's not that I don't want to be with someone. I really do. But like I said...I never want to feel alone when I'm with that person. I never want to feel like I'm being lied to or cheated on. I don't want to wonder, I just want to know and feel good about who I am with. I've been to "lied to blvd." I've traveled down the "mistrust avenue". Those streets are dangerous and I need to avoid them at all costs.

So in lieu of VD I've decided to just enjoy myself. Why do I need to feel so alone because of one stupid day in February. I mean I'm single and I'm still getting laid (crude, I realize that...but it's important and I am in my sexual prime and fuck it...get over it. I need good sex!) This is where I am in my life and it's all good! I am single. I am in my mid-thirties. I am still fabulous! Go fuck yourself, Hallmark...How's that for a card?