What is up with everything???

I don't understand. I just don't get it anymore. It's late on a Sunday night and I can't sleep though I am tired. I'm just sad. It seems as though recently I have been hearing about all the troubles of relationships. I'm a single gal who is looking for that one perfect relationship or at least something resembling perfect to me. But it's hard to hold out hope that some kind of wonderful will happen when I hear so many stories of the shitty relationships out there. Not to mention how shitty people can be to one another.

As I was sitting here contemplating this whole thing I realized that it seems as though we are divided. Almost a 50/50 split. Kind of like back in school sports where you had the teams of shirts and skins. We have the ones who want the relationship and the ones who are shits.

It's human nature to want to be with someone. I'm no different. Statistics show that people who are in healthy, loving relationships have better health. Doesn't even have to be a partnership, be it a friendship, team, work. Stats show that any relationship is good for the soul. It's the feeling of being wanted. Being accepted.

I want to be wanted. I want to be in a loving, healthy relationship. But when I hear so many stories of my friend's who are having problems. It's hard not to wonder if maybe I'm better off alone. Maybe I will be alone forever. That seems so bleak. But when you hear about the stories of....he doesn't pay attention to me anymore, he doesn't touch me anymore, he's still with his lover, he's still married and I'm wondering what will happen when the holidays are here, he's far away, he's too busy, he's stringing me along, he's abusive verbally, he's abusive physically, he's abusive chemically. What is wrong with society today that we can't just be OK together anymore? Why is it that we just can't seem to be loving anymore? What has changed so dramatically with society that we want to throw in the towel so quickly? And why, with all this happening, why do I still want to be with someone when the odds are stacked against me? Is there a forever? Is that just an illusion? I want a forever...but will that forever find me? I have hope that it will.